"Saya tidak bakal pilih pacar saya daripada anak-anak saya." I remember the time when you tells us that mother. But why are you lying to us now... You left me when I was 3, untill when I was 11 years old. And that was 4 years a go. And now you want us go get out from this house means you don't want to do anything with us anymore. Why are you doing this to us, ma? aku rindu mama Cia yang dulu. Aku benci mama yang sekarang since Bob pacar mama datang di life ku dan life mama, everything suddenly changed. He tells you what to do a lot, and you listen to him, because I know you can't say no.
I miss us go out to eat, having girls night, walk to the park and hangout even though I don't like the park, but I do it only because I want to spend my time with you and sister. And you can't hangout with us now anymore because you're busy because you work now, no. You can't say that. You work too when we took all this pics, when you're still the old you. You can't just make an excuse saying "of course we don't have time to hangout anymore, I have school, work, and I have to take care of all my kids." No ma, false. When we took this pics you didn't have grandma in the USA taking care of us, so you can't say you're too busy to hangout with us now.
I wish you were in my shoes right now, and so you can feel me, I know you'd be so disappointed seeing your mother chose her boyfriend over you, and your siblings. Would you be sad if your mother always talk crap about you and your sister every single day. Would you get hurt? Now, think of that. Because I sure do get hurt. So hurt. You have no idea how hurt it is.. Especially when you find out mamamu mau kamu untuk mati aja kalau dia tau aku bakal begini, especially when mamamu bilang kalau mama tau aku begini, mama harusnya ga pernah lahirkan aku dulu. Aku 100% tau pasti hatinya mama bakal sakitnya minta ampun kalau mama di posisi aku. now think, would you get really sad if you're mother say "I wish you were dead." or "bunuh aja dirimu." Because I sure did get hurt. really really hurt. I know I'm not perfect, im not the child youve always dreamed of, and I'm sorry for that, even if I try I can't never be the perfect child you want me to. Since you want me to go back to Indonesia/ send me to the government and have someone else takes care of me, I guess I will accept that. Don't expect me to talk to you in the future, after all the things you did to me, that hurt me really bad. Goodbye.
